Head of House vs. Home-Maker

Recently I read through a few blogs I’m subscribed to on Flipboard to start my day. The blogs suggested ways wives can better allow their husbands to lead. This is a tricky issue both in that it’s controversial, women all desire it (although some unknowingly), and it’s one of the hardest things for women to do.

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Letting Him Head the Home

Both of the articles highlighted how important it is that wives focus on building their relationship with God above all else in order to truly “surrender” to their husbands and allow him to be the leader. Without going into all the points of the blog (which were great), it can be summed up in a challenge to let go of some things and allow your husband to help. When a wife can do this, it enables her husband to be more of the man he was created to be by protecting, providing for, and pursuing her. It also frees the wife feeling the need to do and control everything. “Imagine how different history would have been if Eve had said to the serpent, ‘Hold on one moment, I’d rather you discuss this with my husband’” (It’s Okay to Say I Can’t).

Another blog from the same site explained it this way:

Surrendering to your husband is not about returning to the 1950′s or being subservient. Surrendering is about seeking the face of God and learning basic principles to help you change your perspectives, attitudes and habits to restore intimacy to your marriage, shifting from controlling your situation to trusting God with it. Surrendering can be scary, but the fruit of walking it out includes joy, and peace. And that burden we wives aren’t meant to carry is lifted from our shoulders. (Control or Intimacy?)

These blogs emphasized the need to allow our husbands to be the head of the house. But I’m convinced there’s still quite a calling in being a “home-maker.”

The Importance of the Home-Maker

I later listened to a podcast that happened to be of a message that spoke strongly to me about the role of the wife in the home: “Nothing is wasted when you invest time, energy and effort in your family with a heart inclined towards God, room for God to move and a willingness to work hard.” (Nothing is Wasted)

The message was all about a woman in the Bible who literally made room for God in her home, actively sought out the work of God for her family, then worked to hold on to His promises until they were fulfilled. (2 Kings 4:8-37)

The husband is called to be the spiritual leader of the home, certainly. But as I meditated on these things, I realized that in my stress to make sure I didn’t give in to my strong-willed nature on this one, I’d put more on my husband and his role than it was meant to be. As he leads me and our future family towards God, it is still my role to make our home – the place where we live and grow and develop – a place where the Spirit and presence of God is invited, active, and vibrant! Talk about homey!

If wives were created to complement  their husbands, then that applies to every aspect, including spiritual leadership of the home. He sets the vision, makes ultimate decisions, leads discussions, etc. I can help set the tone, create the atmosphere, and invite in the presence of the Lord.

I have been in a place before in my life where this was true of me as an individual. Taking it on for a home shared with my husband (and someday my children) is a multiplied responsibility. However, now that I realize the challenge, I’m so excited to tackle it!

Vector Girl Graphic 1 cropped

Woman: Leader or Helper?

Feminine Identity

Feminine Identity

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2 thoughts on “Head of House vs. Home-Maker

  1. Sherry - Intentionally Yours says:

    Anna, this is great!! And I totally agree! We as wives were created and called to make our homes a safe, comfortable, inviting place for our husband and children to live, grow, and learn. We’re grateful and glad you enjoy our blog, we’ll be following you, too!!

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